Jokes anyone? -

[Jay Gadsby]

Apologies in advance for this one.


Two men, one owes the other £6.

The guy who owes the money has a pet squid that's just returned from the vet, ailing and not well.

So he says to the guy he owes money to, "Here's the sick squid I owe you."

Sorry

 

[Randy V]

 

[Jay Gadsby]

Superman was having a weekend drink with The Hulk.

The Hulk says what have you been up to?

Superman says I flew across the Pacific yesterday.

Half way I looked down and saw Wonderwoman laying on a secluded beach, naked with her l**gs wide open.

So I thought, why not, I'll drop down and we can have a bit of fun. So I did.

The Hulk says I bet she was surprised.

Superman said not as surprised as the Invisible Man.

 

[Nick]

Superman also gave the Hulk some advice, you can kiss a nun once and you can kiss a nun twice, but you mustn't get into the habit.

 

[Jay Gadsby]

Superman flew over the aftermath of an earthquake.

The earthquake said don’t blame me it’s not my fault

True Story

 

[Neil]

As long as we are on old, jokes...

What is purple and almost ruled the world?

Alexander The Grape.

 

[Bill Kearley]

OMG !!

 

[Brian Kissel]

 

[Randy V]

 

[BenL]

Sign I saw in front of a garage yesterday:

Why does it cost so much to put air in your tires?

Inflation

 

[Randy V]

 

[Randy V]

 

[Mike Pass]

 

[Larry L.]

View attachment 141829

Do you remember the "710" dipstick joke?
That was a hoot too!

 

[Jay Gadsby]

I picked up my rescue dog from the centre this morning.
He was given up by a blacksmith.
He’s very well trained but the first thing he did was make a bolt for the door.

 

[Mike Pass]

Two cannibals were eating a clown. One said to the other "does he taste funny to you?"

 

[Glenn M]

There needs to be 'Grooaan' emoji!

 

[Ian Anderson]

Or this ?

 

[Randy V]

Two cannibals were eating a clown. One said to the other "does he taste funny to you?"

Later on they passed the clown in the jungle!

 

[DaveC]