Jokes anyone? -
- Thread starter p thompson
- Start date
a beautiful one....
perfect practical teaching...
Paul
perfect practical teaching...
Bill Kearley
Supporter
They should have made the apprentice wear a face shield.
'Reminds me of the time back when I was an enlisted man and 'was ordered to fetch a can of grease for a relative bearing and not to come back until I had one 'in hand'.
After about an hour or so, the joke quickly ended up being on 'he who sent me'. ;-)
Ian Anderson
Lifetime Supporter
(NSFW) Never go drinking with a Scots man:
Cricket: As explained to a foreigner...
You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game
Allegedly spoken by a cricket commentator during an England v West Indies match. The bowler was Michael Holding, the WI legendary fast bowler and the batsman facing him was England’s Peter Willey, hence the words “the bowler’s Holding, the batsman’s Willey”. However there is some debate whether those words actually spoken during a live commentary, but who cares
You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game
Allegedly spoken by a cricket commentator during an England v West Indies match. The bowler was Michael Holding, the WI legendary fast bowler and the batsman facing him was England’s Peter Willey, hence the words “the bowler’s Holding, the batsman’s Willey”. However there is some debate whether those words actually spoken during a live commentary, but who cares
'Saw this in the "comments" section of a news website:
"Burglars are getting very clever these days. Last night, my wife woke me up. "Honey! There's a burglar downstairs!" So I went downstairs, checked every room and didn't find anyone. Then I realized that I don't HAVE a wife and, when I went back upstairs, I found my bed and t.v. were gone."
"Burglars are getting very clever these days. Last night, my wife woke me up. "Honey! There's a burglar downstairs!" So I went downstairs, checked every room and didn't find anyone. Then I realized that I don't HAVE a wife and, when I went back upstairs, I found my bed and t.v. were gone."