Jokes anyone? -
- Thread starter p thompson
- Start date
Found details about the photo of the firetruck and the tracks. After a service call, they took the photo on disused tracks (closed for weeklong repairs) as a joke. 10 years later the photo is still circulating.
web.archive.org
Here's How A Bunch Of Firemen Created A Viral Image That Ended Up Fooling The Internet
Don't believe everything you see on the internet.
web.archive.org
Personally, I'd look forward to an 'accommodation' of that sort like an abscessed tooth! (My idea of 'roughing it' is turning the electric blanket down to 2...)
OTOH...there would be a GT 40 involved.
Mr. Adaptable
Four old friends were strolling down the street when they turned a corner and spotted a sign that read: "Old Timers Bar - ALL drinks 10 cents."
They exchanged surprised looks, hardly believing their eyes, and decided to check it out.
As they entered the bar, the bartender greeted them with a booming voice that carried across the room, “Come on in, gentlemen! Let me pour you a drink. What’ll it be?”
The bar was fully stocked, so each of the men ordered a martini.
In no time, the bartender presented them with four perfectly chilled martinis—shaken, not stirred—and said, “That’s 10 cents each, please.”
The men stared at the bartender in disbelief, then glanced at each other, grinning like kids on Christmas morning. They eagerly handed over 40 cents and sipped their martinis, marveling at their good fortune.
Unable to resist, they ordered another round. Once again, the bartender served up four flawless martinis and repeated, “That’s 40 cents, please.”
By now, they’d each had two martinis and hadn’t even spent a dollar. Their curiosity got the better of them.
One of the men finally spoke up. “How on earth can you afford to serve drinks this good for just 10 cents apiece?”
The bartender leaned against the bar with a smile. “Well, I’m a retired tailor from Phoenix. I always dreamed of owning a bar. Last year, I hit the lottery jackpot—$125 million! So, I opened this place where every drink is 10 cents. Wine, liquor, beer—you name it, it’s all the same price.”
“Wow, that’s an incredible story!” one of the men said, raising his glass in admiration.
As they continued sipping their drinks, they noticed a group of seven people sitting quietly at the far end of the bar. None of them had drinks in front of them, and they hadn’t ordered anything the entire time.
One of the men gestured toward them and asked the bartender, “What’s the deal with those folks?”
The bartender chuckled. “Oh, them? They’re from Florida. They’re waiting for Happy Hour, when drinks are half price.”
They exchanged surprised looks, hardly believing their eyes, and decided to check it out.
As they entered the bar, the bartender greeted them with a booming voice that carried across the room, “Come on in, gentlemen! Let me pour you a drink. What’ll it be?”
The bar was fully stocked, so each of the men ordered a martini.
In no time, the bartender presented them with four perfectly chilled martinis—shaken, not stirred—and said, “That’s 10 cents each, please.”
The men stared at the bartender in disbelief, then glanced at each other, grinning like kids on Christmas morning. They eagerly handed over 40 cents and sipped their martinis, marveling at their good fortune.
Unable to resist, they ordered another round. Once again, the bartender served up four flawless martinis and repeated, “That’s 40 cents, please.”
By now, they’d each had two martinis and hadn’t even spent a dollar. Their curiosity got the better of them.
One of the men finally spoke up. “How on earth can you afford to serve drinks this good for just 10 cents apiece?”
The bartender leaned against the bar with a smile. “Well, I’m a retired tailor from Phoenix. I always dreamed of owning a bar. Last year, I hit the lottery jackpot—$125 million! So, I opened this place where every drink is 10 cents. Wine, liquor, beer—you name it, it’s all the same price.”
“Wow, that’s an incredible story!” one of the men said, raising his glass in admiration.
As they continued sipping their drinks, they noticed a group of seven people sitting quietly at the far end of the bar. None of them had drinks in front of them, and they hadn’t ordered anything the entire time.
One of the men gestured toward them and asked the bartender, “What’s the deal with those folks?”
The bartender chuckled. “Oh, them? They’re from Florida. They’re waiting for Happy Hour, when drinks are half price.”
https://www.facebook.com/#
Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Sick of the stress, he decided to quit his job and buy 50 acres of land in Alaska, as far from civilization as possible. The only human interaction he had was a visit from the postman once a week and a grocery delivery once a month. Aside from that, it was total peace and quiet.
After about six months of nearly complete isolation, someone knocked on his door. He opened it to find a huge, bearded man standing there.
"Name’s Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. I’m having a Christmas party Friday night... Thought you might like to come, around 5:00."
"Great," says Tom. "After six months out here, I’m ready to meet some local folks. Thanks for the invite."
As Lars turned to leave, he paused and added, "Gotta warn ya... there’ll be some drinkin’."
"Not a problem," says Tom. "After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of ‘em."
Lars started to walk away again, then stopped. "More’n likely there’ll be some fightin’ too."
"Well, I get along with people, I’ll be fine," Tom reassured him. "I’ll be there. Thanks again."
Lars hesitated for a moment, then added, "More’n likely, there’ll be some wild sex, too."
Tom grinned, warming to the idea. "That’s really not a problem. I’ve been all alone for six months! I’ll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?"
Lars gave a long look and said, "Don’t much matter... it’s just gonna be the two of us."
Just a few days ago I told my Mrs that from now on our cars are going to be ordered with front passenger seats that swivel 180* at the touch of a button... ;-)
It's that time of year again, reposting this:
There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was
to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.
One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God
with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see
what it was about.
The letter read:
Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.
Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which
was all the money I had until my next pension check.
Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends
over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy
food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only
hope.
Can you please help me?
Sincerely,
Edna
The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the
other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up
with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had
collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the
woman.
The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking
of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.
Christmas came and went.
A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to
God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.
It read,
Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?
Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends.
We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.
Love,
Edna
P.S. By the way, there was $4 missing.
I think it must have been those bastards at the Post Office
There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was
to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.
One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God
with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see
what it was about.
The letter read:
Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.
Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which
was all the money I had until my next pension check.
Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends
over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy
food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only
hope.
Can you please help me?
Sincerely,
Edna
The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the
other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up
with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had
collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the
woman.
The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking
of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.
Christmas came and went.
A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to
God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.
It read,
Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?
Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends.
We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.
Love,
Edna
P.S. By the way, there was $4 missing.
I think it must have been those bastards at the Post Office
Bill Kearley
Supporter
And as you know we in Canada may not have Christmas this year, thanks to the idiots running this country.
The Canadian Postal Service is on strike.
Bill Kearley
Supporter
COOL